Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

       In my opinion everyone thinks they are different than everyone else, but also in my opinion I really do believe that I am just a tad bit different than most people. J.R.R. Tolkien said "Not all those who wander are lost" and ever since my ninth grade English teacher used it in a prompt for an essay I've adopted it as a sort of motto to my life.
       Ask any of my friends and they'll tell you that I've never been one to follow the crowd, and I've always been one to stand out in the subtlest of ways. I've always been one to question, to ask why things are done a certain way and why they can't be done another away. Living outside of the box is a normal thing to me. In my opinion my dad fostered this behavior when he would ask why I needed the clothing item that everyone else had, why not get something different because standing out is always better than fitting in. Being different, even in the subtlest of ways, has its struggles.  It's hard at some points to not completely fit in with even your closest of friends. Tolkien's quote reassures every person that wandering does not mean that you are lost. It is completely okay to question everything, to explore every option, just because you don't know where you're going doesn't mean that you don't know where you are right now.
      College is a fresh start for everyone and a small part of me wanted to use this opportunity to fit in and be a little less different. To do so I participated in rush to be in a sorority. All of my friends from home were shocked because it is so un-Tyson-like to do be in a sorority. During sorority recruitment I met lots of people and learned a lot about myself. The whole time I felt out of place, not because I had bad conversations in the houses or didn't get back my favorite house, but because it all felt so fake to me. At first I thought it was because the girls were being fake in order to give me a good impression of their house but by the end of the week I realized the girls were genuine and I was the one being "fake." I wanted to show them what they wanted to see in order to get into the houses I wanted and I realized on pref night that being fake to get what I wanted was not me. Yes, I wanted the "sorority experience" but if it was something that the real me questioned why should I force myself to do it? I reasoned that it was a good way to make friends, meet people, it would look good on my resume, I could do lots of community service and I would have lots of fun in the process. But in reality I don't need a sorority to help me to do those things, I am an individual that is perfectly capable of having a fantastic college experience without paying for it.
      Part of me wanted to fit in because I did feel a little bit lost in this new place where no one knew my reputation. Though this is a place to completely redo the way people perceive me, I don't think I want to lose the reputation of being different and one to be a complete individual. I want to question, to wander and it's easier to do so while remember that I'm never lost as long as I  know who I am and I have friends and family to point me in the right way every once in a while.